Google Caffeine Site Optimization Secrets

So, you’ve no doubt heard that google’s spanking caffeine in a cup browser is out in sandbox format, lending to a subtle but supposedly superior search offering.

The trick now, for all you SEO and site optimizers is how to uncover the secrets to a higher ranking with caffeine.

First, the biggest notable rumor is that caffeine is faster, but did you know excessive caffeine leads to diahrrhea?  It’s true.  It’s also a stimulant, which is stimulating when we beging uncovering the algorithm behind google and their sandboxed caffeine offering.

My site is not optimized for seo, it’s not perfect for google, and ergo, it’s just not likely that this post will land a high page ranking for the search terms <b>Google Caffeine SEO & Site Optimization Techniques”, however, i have a feeling that there’s a certain style of composition that the new search enginge experience is going to be riding atop of.

Not necessarily APA journalism, but in my mind I’m thinking up a good optimized number score on the fleischman scale, indicative of sentance strength, length, punctuation, and other junk.

Coffee break!  Going to recharge my caffeine laden random tangent to reality.

Anyways, so you wanna know the secrets?

First you gotta run outside, find a fire hydrant
Then, scream google caffeine sucks as soon as you see a cop car with a light bar passing by
Drop your drawers and run around in circles frantically while waving your hands, clicking your heels, and urinating exactly in the following sequence:  up up down down left right left right b a

and Voila! Hit your start button and you’ll now be the #1 search result for every google caffeine site optimization search.

PS, I plan on filling in a better post after I have a bit to dig and prod at it, although I’m hoping this snippet lands itself in the top 30,000,000 search results, so hopefully somewhere a cat will jump on a keyboard and someone will have to read this drivel filled post.  Thx for reading!